The Good Table At Home: Interfaith Interview

Liv Wisely

Hi! I’m Liv Wisely, for The Good Table. And I have a very special lady with me. Could you introduce yourself please?

Ok, my name is Cheryl Land. I am 18 years old. I'm from St. Petersburg Florida, and I am your significant other. 

Cheryl Land

Can you describe your religious beliefs for us?

I am a Roman Catholic on paper, practicing as much as I can. 

I was not a cradle Catholic; I was raised in a Protestant church until my mother re-converted us to Catholicism. I was baptized in second grade, and we’ve been Catholic ever since. After figuring out I was not straight, and learning about the way the church treated gay people — not necessarily homophobic but restrictive — I had a lapse in the faith, but  after hearing lots of progressive Christians talk about their faith and their practice, it gave me incentive to do my own research and make a better educated decision to return to the faith. And I did!

And for the reference of the reader, I am a product of United Church Of Christ, I’m currently studying Judaism. I also dabble in the occult; all around spiritual but not always religious.

Now, at the time of reading, how long have we been together? 

On the 20th it’ll be five months. 

Knock on wood. 

Knock on wood. 

Superstitions are both things our religions have but also kind of condemn.  Jinxes aren’t things Christians sanction but I’ll STILL KNOCK ON WOOD. I may not believe it, but I don’t mess with it. 

Well, it hasn’t failed us yet… knock on wood. 

Knock on wood! STOP SAYING THAT!

Haha, okay okay. So, you and I are a queer couple of faith who met online during COVID. Throughout this time, we’ve had a lot to pray about because we care about social issues. How have we handled mutual grieving or spiritual worries together in the past? And how do we do that in a respectful way? 

Well, I definitely pray for you, and I pray for your family. Every mass on Sunday I say the Hail Mary Prayer for both my parents, my brother, and for you. So you have that with you. If you pray for me, I appreciate it — I take it as a firm compliment. 

Likewise! I pray for you. A lot of my prayer has to do with overcoming hurdles of my own so I can better help others. I actually got the concept from a Christian, let me be your hands, your feet, your heart, your mouth, etc. Kind of like: help me help others, which is helping you, which is helping me, which is helping others, haha.

It’s also because I don't know if I'm the one who can always help you; I don't know if you’ll go to me. If I ask God to be kinder, you might not even need that from me, so I ask the powers that be to soothe your anxiety and make you feel less alone. It's not that I believe god is someone that works for me. 

Me neither. I’ll ask you this: What do you think has made us work, spiritually? What is our advice for an “interfaith” relationship? That’s a fun one. We’ve had our ups and downs, suspension of disbelief.

I feel like the best you can do is listen. You don’t have to let them convince you they’re right; it’s not an argument. Talk about your faith a lot, learn about how specifically you practice and think. It’s important to reach common ground on your values, and you can do that while being interfaith. We have had our ups and downs — I have held beliefs you originally thought to be bonkers, and beliefs I take for granted. 

I think that's where the mutual respect and awareness of your own faith come in. The more confident you can be and the more flexible you can be with your own beliefs, the more you can ask yourself why you do or DON'T believe something.  That said, do you think our faith has brought us closer together or further apart?

Definitely closer together. I know so much more about Judaism than I knew months ago, and I'm so happy I do, because I want to learn. I enjoy learning about other cultures and other faiths. 

Being with someone you can learn from. Someone outside your comfort zone you have to keep up with, stimulating your mind. I believe we’ve both intellectual people, both very philosophical people, and we love talking about deep things. And it doesn’t exhaust us. It was scary at first, because there are lots of critics of Catholicism. I had to kind of get over my shock. You didn’t hate me for being Christian and didn’t just give Christianity a pass because you love me. 

Well, I’ve been lucky enough to have grown up with some pretty amazing Christians. Not only that, but amazing people who happen to be Christians. I hope we break the stereotype of both the faiths we’re involved in as being closed minded, because in many ways you’ve opened my mind.

And so have you.

I love you!

I love you too!