Melinda's Musings: Let's Make A Plan`
by Rev. Dr. Melinda V. McLain
Spiritual Touchstone
“We plan, God laughs. ”
Maybe it is my Presbyterian upbringing, but I really like having a plan and a detailed schedule. I know some folks might be surprised by this given that I have been known in many circles for my improvisational skills and my delight for spontaneity, but it is true: even when improvising, I like to have a plan. And I always like to do unpleasant things first, so I can have more time to enjoy good things. As a teenager, I always did my homework first, so I would have the rest of the evening to spend freely. Not a bad habit to have developed and it has served me well in a number of ways!
This love of being organized has been with me as long as I can remember. When I was in my 20s, some friends found it so annoying that one of my classmates in college took my watch away from me and wouldn't let me wear it for two days. I thought I might die during those 48 hours. Now, with all my integrated gadgets, it would take WAY MORE than stealing my watch for me to let go of time and trying to stay on my plan: I have SIRI to defend me!
On the other hand, I have learned that having a plan and being prepared only helps with the small things in life like paying bills, doing projects, and meeting work deadlines. Truly, there is no way to actually prepare and plan for much of what really matters in life such as the grief of losing a beloved, a serious illness, wildfire season, or a global pandemic. Sure, we can make “go bags” and disaster kits, and prepare financially with insurance and thoughtful estate planning, but that only handles the "business" of life, not the living of it.
Grief, in particular, even when you see it on the horizon through a diagnosis or the simple progression of aging, cannot be "done" in advance and you cannot plan for its effects. It sneaks up on you and takes hold of your heart and soul until you pay attention and confront the reality of the loss. Unfortunately for those of us who like plans, grief is a real plan wrecker. And whether or not COVID directly took the life of someone you love, we are all grieving in one way or another.
While a worldwide pandemic was certainly a possibility that public health professionals knew might happen, most, if not all of us were completely unprepared and had no plan for what unfolded in March 2020. I had thought about the possibility of “virtual church” while studying from my D.Min., but then suddenly we had to do it - next Sunday! And, of course, we did create a Zoom version of our service of music, prayer, and preaching that was different from our in-person gathering and yet, provided a genuine and life-giving connection to spiritual community during a time when we all felt more worried and isolated than usual. And our community has been blessed by participants from as far away as British Columbia and Texas - something that didn’t happen before that I do not want to lose when we go back to gathering in person on July 4th!
Our virtual sanctuary at home
It’s also humbling to begin construction on our new project and watch all of our planning shift and adjust to new realities such as skyrocketing materials prices while also becoming excited that someday, we might be able to actually open our cafe, nursery, and gathering space. And yet, we still don’t know when the renovation will be complete, but at least we’re moving forward after being stalled for many months.
Finally, as vaccination rates continue to rise and COVID cases fall, we are now beginning to meet again in person and resume activities in community that were unavailable during the pandemic. But I admit, I don’t have much of a plan yet for this new phase of living. I do know that it isn’t possible to just go back to the way things were. Too much has changed. And I want to find ways to integrate the lessons of the last fifteen months to make my life and our communities better. And because I’m a planner type, I want to be intentional about those changes, but I also recognize - another gift of the pandemic - that all of our plans need to be flexible because the only thing you can be certain about is that everything will change.
Do you like to plan? What do you do when your plans fall apart? What spiritual practices are helpful when things don't go the way you expected?