Love Your Enemies?

By Rev. Dr. Melinda V. McLain

God makes the sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. - Matthew 5: 45b

About 10 years ago, I took up the practice of preaching on the topic of “love your enemies” each January in honor of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. who also preached on this challenging theme once a year. And I would submit that the ability of Rev. Dr. King to embody this principle is one of the primary reasons that he is still so admired throughout the world. Who would Jesus call a friend? An enemy? The answer is, of course, neither. Jesus sees us all – and I believe without exception – as beloved children of God. No one is a "special friend" or "enemy" of Jesus. God loves us all. The all-too-human tendency to divide our neighbors into enemies and friends is not the way of Jesus, so it should not be the way among those who seek to follow Jesus.

Separating every experience we have into rigid categories of good and bad seems to be a favorite - and unfortunate - human occupation. For example, I have become increasingly sensitive to Christian rhetoric that claims to know what God is doing in the world and the subsequent assertion of who is blessed and who is cursed. 

We’ve all seen fire and brimstone preachers blame the extension of equality under the law for LGBTQ people as the reason for various hurricanes and other natural disasters. They rant and rave that God is having vengeance against us because we have been unfaithful to God’s law or precepts. The reverse is true too. Prosperity-gospel preachers claim to be financially-blessed because God has rewarded their “true worship” and, if you will only send them a generous contribution today, God will bless you too!

In my view, it is extremely dangerous for anyone to claim to know such things. At the very least, anyone who does make such proclamations may fall prey to Anne Lamott’s brilliant comment, that “you know you’ve created God in your own image when God hates all the same people you do.”

Instead, I believe Matthew gets it just right that the current weather (nor any other natural condition) is a gift or punishment from God. And to assert personal knowledge of God’s pleasure or displeasure is pure folly and perhaps even self-idolatry: casting ourselves in the role of God.

This passage goes even further and exhorts us to stop playing the game of sorting others into categories altogether by choosing to love all without exception. God calls us to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
Still, Jesus did not remain silent in the face of injustice. In the Gospels, Jesus regularly lambasts his disciples for their foolishness and constant bickering about "who is the greatest?" He also challenges the wealthy and the powerful to live their lives as servants instead of overlords.

Jesus is not a wimpy and meek lover of all humanity who allows bullies to keep up their assault on the weak. To do so would be to abandon both the bullied – and the bully too. For God even loves bullies and those who would seem to be enemies of all that is good and right. God doesn't give up on them, or us. Instead, Jesus teaches that the bullies will, like the rich man, find it difficult to glimpse the reign of God until they end their reign of terror.  Jesus teaches that there is a better way. Follow me. 
As our society becomes more and more connected, our divisions also become more visible. We are constantly challenged to "stand with this" and "stand against that". And this is good. It is definitely part of the path of Jesus to stand for the poor, the oppressed, the outcast, to stand for justice and mercy. 

At the same time, we must find a way to not convert our disagreements into hatred and separation. This is REALLY hard, but I believe it is part of Jesus path to find a way to love our enemies until they become our sisters and brothers.

Have you ever converted an "enemy" into a friend? What can we learn from those who disagree with us?  How can we welcome those who challenge us?

by Rev. Dr. Melinda V. McLain

“Isolation” by Fabio Barbato

Spiritual Touchstone

During my 25+ years as a pastor, one of the most common worries I hear from parents with regard to their children (no matter what age!) is about friendship. Will my child make friends? Will those friends be a good influence? And, of course, what can I do as a parent to help my child make good friends?

There are no easy strategies for parents confronting this problem on behalf of their children. And the problem of loneliness and a lack of friends is certainly not limited to children. We recently learned from The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World, the book our Mindfulness Circle is reading that at least 10% of Americans say that they don’t have any close friends at all.

Not surprisingly, as we move into the third year of a global pandemic, loneliness appears to be on the rise. A new report from Harvard states that: “36% of all Americans—including 61% of young adults (18-25) and 51% of mothers with young children—feel ‘serious loneliness’.” And not surprisingly, loneliness appears to have increased substantially since the outbreak of the global pandemic, although a U.S. Department of Health and Human Services study in 2019 found that at least 1 in 5 Americans reported feeling lonely or socially isolated.

Rising loneliness and social isolation are serious health problems with real world consequences. Human beings are social animals like all primates, and we are meant to be in relationship. But somehow, we’ve lost the art of being in community. It might be that we honor rugged individualism too much. Or that we are distracted by media and technology. Or it could be that we’ve just forgotten (or never really learned) how important it is to take time for friendship and to be in community.

The Harvard report suggest three immediate strategies including “raising awareness”, such this blog post or by simply thinking about your friendships or lack thereof. Their second recommendation is to “increase and improve our social infrastructure”. The Good Table is designed to do that for folks in El Sobrante, but we can all take advantage of existing social infrastructure such as volunteering with a local organization or becoming part of a spiritual community such as a temple, gurdwara, church, mosque or synagogue. And the third recommendation is to work “to restore our commitments to each other and the common good”.

From a spiritual perspective, the best antidote to loneliness is to develop a warm and compassionate heart toward others. There are many meditation and prayer practices that can help anyone to become more aware and connected to one another. These practices also help us turn away from focusing on our problems and become more compassionate. This “turning” then helps us to make new friends and strengthen our existing community connections.

My own view is that the fastest way to decrease our own loneliness and self-centeredness is to actively choose to becoming a helper and volunteer. This can be hard for young adults and parents trying to juggle a challenging schedule, but the results can be miraculous.

Try doing one new thing “out in the world” once a month such as participating in a community work day. Here in El Sobrante, there are many opportunities including our monthly “clean-up the town day” every 3rd Saturday (including this Saturday, Feb. 19) from 10a-12n (meet at the library) or come to our site (5166 Sobrante Avenue) on the last Saturday (Feb. 26) from 12n-3p.

Here is some final wisdom to ponder from Archbishop Desmond Tutu on the subject of loneliness.

“Much depends on your attitude. If you are filled with negative judgment and anger, then you will feel separate from other people. You will feel lonely. But if you have an open heart and are filled with trust and friendship, even if you are physically alone, even living a hermit’s life, you will never feel lonely.”

— Archbishop Desmond Tutu

May we all find happiness and friendship.

by Rev. Dr. Melinda V. McLain

Spiritual Touchstone

“We plan, God laughs. ”

— Yiddish proverb (Psalm 33:10)


Maybe it is my Presbyterian upbringing, but I really like having a plan and a detailed schedule. I know some folks might be surprised by this given that I have been known in many circles for my improvisational skills and my delight for spontaneity, but it is true: even when improvising, I like to have a plan. And I always like to do unpleasant things first, so I can have more time to enjoy good things. As a teenager, I always did my homework first, so I would have the rest of the evening to spend freely. Not a bad habit to have developed and it has served me well in a number of ways!

This love of being organized has been with me as long as I can remember. When I was in my 20s, some friends found it so annoying that one of my classmates in college took my watch away from me and wouldn't let me wear it for two days. I thought I might die during those 48 hours. Now, with all my integrated gadgets, it would take WAY MORE than stealing my watch for me to let go of time and trying to stay on my plan: I have SIRI to defend me!

On the other hand, I have learned that having a plan and being prepared only helps with the small things in life like paying bills, doing projects, and meeting work deadlines. Truly, there is no way to actually prepare and plan for much of what really matters in life such as the grief of losing a beloved, a serious illness, wildfire season, or a global pandemic. Sure, we can make “go bags” and disaster kits, and  prepare financially with insurance and thoughtful estate planning, but that only handles the "business" of life, not the living of it.

Grief, in particular, even when you see it on the horizon through a diagnosis or the simple progression of aging, cannot be "done" in advance and you cannot plan for its effects. It sneaks up on you and takes hold of your heart and soul until you pay attention and confront the reality of the loss. Unfortunately for those of us who like plans, grief is a real plan wrecker. And whether or not COVID directly took the life of someone you love, we are all grieving in one way or another.

While a worldwide pandemic was certainly a possibility that public health professionals knew might happen, most, if not all of us were completely unprepared and had no plan for what unfolded in March 2020. I had thought about the possibility of “virtual church” while studying from my D.Min., but then suddenly we had to do it - next Sunday! And, of course, we did create a Zoom version of our service of music, prayer, and preaching that was different from our in-person gathering and yet, provided a genuine and life-giving connection to spiritual community during a time when we all felt more worried and isolated than usual. And our community has been blessed by participants from as far away as British Columbia and Texas - something that didn’t happen before that I do not want to lose when we go back to gathering in person on July 4th!

Our virtual sanctuary at home

It’s also humbling to begin construction on our new project and watch all of our planning shift and adjust to new realities such as skyrocketing materials prices while also becoming excited that someday, we might be able to actually open our cafe, nursery, and gathering space. And yet, we still don’t know when the renovation will be complete, but at least we’re moving forward after being stalled for many months.

Finally, as vaccination rates continue to rise and COVID cases fall, we are now beginning to meet again in person and resume activities in community that were unavailable during the pandemic. But I admit, I don’t have much of a plan yet for this new phase of living. I do know that it isn’t possible to just go back to the way things were. Too much has changed. And I want to find ways to integrate the lessons of the last fifteen months to make my life and our communities better. And because I’m a planner type, I want to be intentional about those changes, but I also recognize - another gift of the pandemic - that all of our plans need to be flexible because the only thing you can be certain about is that everything will change.

Do you like to plan? What do you do when your plans fall apart? What spiritual practices are helpful when things don't go the way you expected?

By Rev. Dr. Melinda V. McLain

Spiritual Touchstone

“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.”

— Dorothy Thompson, legendary American journalist, (1893-1961)

Reverend Melinda in an amazing Easter ensemble

One of my more crusty professors in seminary once said, “I can cope with Santa Claus, but the Easter Bunny ought to be obliterated”. He was correct that Santa is at least based somewhat upon the life of St. Nicholas who was known for giving gifts in secret. But the origin of a bunny (or perhaps a hermaphroditic hare) bringing eggs as gifts to children is fuzzier and contains quite a few odd elements that would appear to have very little to do with the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, the Christ. Also, I am pretty certain that no one in first century Palestine had access to chocolate of any kind.

Personally, I love the rabbits, peeps, and eggs associated with Easter. As a child, I wasn’t too fond of the Easter “outfits”, but I did like coloring eggs and then finding them. Also, I still enjoy singing the loud “alleluia” songs. And there have been times when I was singing in a church that had a big pipe organ that Easter meant singing ear-splitting anthems accompanied by brass - another fun thing to do! Easter for many folks really is a lot of fun and festive hoopla!

But I also understand my professor’s problem with all this Easter hullabaloo. Such celebrations don’t quite connect with the high drama of the story of Jesus. Nor does it resemble the saga of the horribly frightened disciples who spent much of the first year following the crucifixion of Jesus in hiding or facing various forms of gruesome persecution by the Roman empire. Their well-documented travails with Roman imperial power make it clear that their movement was explicitly designed to resist the religion of empire even if - just like Jesus - it cost them their lives.

Next week is Holy Week, when those of us on the Jesus path will retell the stories of that ragtag movement of folks determined to proclaim good news to the poor, the oppressed, and those suffering injustice. But beyond telling those stories, many of us will seek ways to embody their fearlessness - even in the face of a culture that thinks it foolish to live our lives in service to others.

When Easter Sunday comes this year on April 4th, I plan to sing a few “alleluias”, but if the real power of resurrection happens for me, it will be in the form of a recommitment to the prophet Micah’s call to “seek justice, love mercy, and to walk humbly (like Jesus) with God” even when I’m afraid, confused, or just simply don’t feel like it.

My UCC colleague and dear friend the Rev. Donna Schaper, in her wonderful “gardening” book Calmly Plotting the Resurrection has written, “resurrection is rarely complete. We are still on our way. Easter week will come and go, and some of us will rise all the way to our forgiven selves, and all the way up to our capacity to forgive others. Some of us won’t. God help us to rise.”

Let us rise!

by Rev. Dr. Melinda V. McLain, pastor for The Good Table UCC

Image Credit: Live Japan

“Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes.
How do you measure a year in a life? How about love?”

— Jonathan Larson in the song “Seasons of Love” from the musical Rent

Spiritual Touchstone

We’ve just passed the first anniversary of the first case of the novel coronavirus reaching the United States. But for me, the global pandemic truly “began” with our initial statewide lockdown on March 15, 2020 that also coincided with the liturgical season of Lent - a time when those of us on the Jesus path reflect on our mortality and humanity. At the time, I don’t think any of us could imagine all that would transpire in our world between then and now, but while the death and economic destruction has been devastating for millions, we have also been able to move forward on our project to create The Good Table and as a church, we’ve also been able to keep serving our communities with love. And not just love in the form of kindness, but in the form of measurable assistance to our neighbors in need.

Our Lent last year included the launch of a campaign by a group of United Church of Christ (UCC) local churches to erase all the available medical debt in Contra Costa and Alameda counties as part of our joint Good Friday service. We weren’t able to gather last Good Friday in person AND it took us a bit longer to finish the campaign, but with help from the national UCC, at its conclusion, our 2020 campaign erased $5,473,959.51 in medical debt for 2,604 families in 34 counties in California including $3 million in debt for over 1,000 families in Contra Costa and Alameda counties. I have no doubt that this campaign made a big difference to those families.

This year Lent begins on February 17th with Ash Wednesday. In previous years, we have had a joint contemplative prayer service with Taizé chants and the imposition of ashes with Christ Lutheran, El Cerrito. Two years ago our joint service also included Hope Lutheran, El Sobrante who also hosted a daytime service and we began our “Ashes on the Go” outreach during rush hour at Del Norte BART along with colleagues from Arlington UCC, Kensington. Last year, both the Japanese and English language congregations from Sycamore UCC, El Cerrito joined us at BART and for the evening service. In some ways, last year’s Ash Wednesday on Feb. 26th felt like the last time that any of us could do “public” ministry. And I know for sure that it was the last time that any of us were able to share a hug or hold hands while praying together.

With our UCC siblings, we plan to take on another Lenten love project this year called the Black Homeownership Fund (BHF) sponsored by Arlington UCC, Kensington and housed at the Richmond Community Foundation. The BHF would create a zero-percent-interest loan fund, to be paid back only when the home is refinanced or sold. This is especially helpful for providing assistance with the super high down payments needed to get into the Bay Area’s high-priced housing market.

We still have many months to go before we will be able to gather in person again. And it will be many months before our renovation of our site is complete. The death toll due to the pandemic will continue to rise and the economic crisis is far from hitting bottom, although the advent of vaccines and more economic stimulus may begin to slow the devastation soon.

And yet, we still have a lot of capacity for love in the form of caring, but also concrete and tangible assistance for our neighbors.

What gifts of love have you received during this time of pandemic and stress? What gifts did you give? What can we do to continue to increase love in our communities?